Endurance
by futureauthor62
Summary: Edward Cullen is 21 years old and is madly in love with with Bella Swan. What will Edward do when something happens to Bella? Canon pairings. Some OOC possible. Rated T for cursing here and there.
1. Chapter 1 Who's what! EPOV

**ALL HUMAN- ALL HAVE SAME SPECIAL TALENTS THOUGH.**

**NONE OF THEM ARE TOGETHER--- ALL SINGLE--- NO ONE ASKS THEM OUT BECAUSE THEY ARE OUTCASTS. Except Edward and Bella, of course.**

**EPOV**

I was with Carlisle, in his office at the hospital. We were having a conversation that I thought the rest of the family should not hear. We had just fallen silent when suddenly we heard Carlisle being called over the loud-speaker.  
"Dr. Cullen, please report to the ER. Dr. Cullen, please report to the ER."  
"I have to go. Would you care to wait for me here?"  
"Yes. Thank you." Carlisle rushed from the room and left me in the office alone. There was an eerie silence. *_Edward, you better get in here. Now.*_ Carlisle's sudden thoughts echoed in my head. I got up and ran as fast as I could to the Emergency Room where he had been called. I saw him and walked over to where he was standing. I gave him a curious look as I approached. *_It's Bella.* _ Carlisle told me with his mind.  
"No! What's wrong with her? Is she okay? Carlisle!"  
"Edward, she's unconcious and she's not breathing correctly. I have to get her stabilized. Please try to remain calm until I can do so." I nodded and sank to the floor and watched as Carlisle shoved a breathing tube down my Bella's throat to get her breathing properly.

He was able to get her stabilized within five minutes. Five long, precious minutes, in which Bella, my Bella, could have died. Left me forever. But, when Carlisle stabilized her, I breathed easy again. I looked at him. _*She's okay. For now. We have to get her into a room. Come on, son. I'm sure you don't want to leave her now.*_ I shook my head at that, and rose to follow Carlisle from the room as he transported Bella to a room on one of the upper floors of the hospital. _*I won't let anyone else care for her. She will be under my careful watch always.* _ I nodded. We had just put her into a room by herself when my cell phone buzzed in my pocket.  
"Alice." I answered the phone.  
"Is she okay? Please tell me she's okay."  
"I don't know Alice. We just got her stabilized and into a room. Do you know what happened?"  
"No. I just saw a lot of blood and them putting her into an ambulance." There came a sudden screaming noise from the room. Carlisle had already disappeared back into the room.  
"Alice. I gotta go." I hung up on her quickly and ran into the room. Carlisle was giving up on his efforts.  
"No. Don't give up Carlisle. You can save her." Carlisle looked at me. _*Edward, it's no use. She's gone. I'm sorry son. I did all I could to help her.*_ Carlisle was unhooking her monitors. I could have screamed in frustration. I was desperate to escape, but didn't know what to do or where to go. Carlisle saw the look on my face. _*Go son. Go where you must. It's okay.* _ I left the hospital and began to run. I didn't know where I was going. My cell phone vibrated again. I answered it, still running, and a little out of breath.  
"What?"  
"Edward, don't go. Please." Alice's voice was pleading. It was the only thing right now that would get me to stay, when I wanted so badly to go.  
"Okay. I'm coming home." I said to my sister through adoption, giving in way too easily. I ran up my driveway and into the house. I stopped just inside the door momentarily. Everyone was sitting in the livingroom. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie and Esme were all there. I shot past them and went upstairs into my room. I collapsed shakily onto my black leather sofa and broke into sobs.

It was another two hours later, when someone finally came up to check on me. There was a soft knock on the door.  
"What?" I asked in the loudest voice I could muster.

"Can I come in?" It was Esme.  
"Fine." I said. I cradled my head in my hands as she entered the room, trying to fight back more tears. She came in and sat down next to me.  
"I won't try to make you talk about it or anything. But, I want you to know, it's going to be okay." I couldn't reply to her. She put a hand on my shoulder, and I didn't try to move.

For the third time that day, my phone vibrated and I answered it. Esme made to leave but I shook my head at her. I wanted her to stay.  
"Hello?" I tried to make my voice louder than the whisper it was now.  
"Edward?"  
"Yes."  
"Edward, this is Charlie." Charlie. I broke down into sobs again as he spoke.  
"Charlie?"  
"Do you know what happened?"  
"No. Do you?"  
"I couldn't see her. They were holding me back. There was a lot of blood. The truck...was in shambles. I almost couldn't recognize it as hers."  
"I was there. At the hospital. When they brought her in. Carlisle treated her. He did all he could for her. He got her up into a room, and then....she-"  
"Left us. Left me, left you. Gone. Carlisle called me at the office and told me. He gave me your number. Said someone should talk to you."  
"Oh."  
"So, how are you? Are you okay?"  
"No. You?"  
"Not really. Do you and Alice want to come over for dinner? I don't want to be alone tonight."  
"Yeah. Okay. We'll be over in an hour or two. Thank you, Charlie."  
"No, Edward, thank you. See you later. Bye Edward."  
"Bye Charlie." I hung up and stared into space. Esme was at my side again.  
"Edward, son, do you want Jasper to come up here and try to help?"  
"No... I- I don't know."  
"Well, maybe you should. You might need that extra boost of relief if you are going to be with Charlie for the night."  
"Maybe."  
"Edward, let me help you, please. I can feel your emotions from down here, and it's killing me." Jasper yelled upstairs at that moment. "Jazz, just give me time. Alice?" I called to them. She appeared in the doorway with a bag over her shoulder.  
"Ready when you are, Edward." she said to me. She _had_ seen that we would be going over to Charlie's then. Good. So, I didn't have to explain it to her that way.  
"I just- wanna talk to Carlisle first. When will he be home, Esme?"  
"In just a few minutes."  
"I want to talk to him before we go." Esme nodded and squeezed my shoulder. I put my head back in my hands and stayed like that until Carlisle walked in the house. I heard them talking downstairs but couldn't make out what they were saying.

There was silence for a minute and then Carlisle was crouching in front of me.  
"Edward?" I did not look up at him. I did not want him to see all the pain and saddness and frustration and desperation in my eyes. _*Edward, son. Look at me. I want to help.*_ I looked up at him unwillingly and he saw the emotions in my eyes. He also saw the question that was burning deep inside them. _*We don't know what happened yet. No one was there to witness the incident. It was Angela Weber that called in. She was driving past when she recognised the vehicle. They wouldn't let Charlie anywhere near the scene. We'll have to wait and see what the autopsy tells us.*_

"Did you tell Renee?"  
"Yes." I nodded, all my questions answered. "Edward, it's going to be okay." he said this out loud, as opposed to keeping it private and just thinking it.  
"No it won't." Someone placed something at my feet, next to Carlisle. It was a bag of over night stuff for Charlie's.  
"Ready to go, Edward?" I nodded.  
"Where are you going?" Carlisle asked.  
"Charlie wanted Alice and I to spend the night. Said he couldn't be alone." It was Carlisle's turn to nod in response. Alice and I left and drove the Volvo to Charlie's.


	2. Chapter 2 Visiting Charlie APOV

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or anything about it**

**A/N: So, I forgot to put a disclaimer in the first chapter and thought I should apologize for that. So yeah, as a result, I am uploading chapter 2 today as well. Enjoy**

**APOV**

I drove to Charlie's house. I didn't think Edward was up to the challenge. His mind was just too far gone. Not that I wasn't terribly upset about Bella's death, because I was, but I was just able to hold myself together. And, I knew I had to stay strong, for Charlie's sake. He would need at least one strong person in the house.

I would probably have to cook for Charlie. I knew how far his cooking abilities ranged. We probably wouldn't have to prepare anything for Edward. He was, as I said before, almost totally unresponsive to everything. He would be eating nothing. He probably wouldn't even talk the whole time we were there. I felt really bad for him. After all those years of being alone, he had finally found the person he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, and that person had just been brutally taken away from him.

Finally I pulled up in Charlie's driveway. The drive seemed a lot longer than it really was.  
"Edward?" he didn't reply. "Edward!" I shook him slightly to break him out of his trance and he looked at me. "We're here. Come on. Let's go inside." He nodded slightly and started to walk toward the house. I grabbed his bag and mine and walked up to the door. I knocked while Edward zoned out again. Charlie answered the door and let us in. I guided Edward inside and sat him down on the couch.  
"He doesn't look so good." Charlie remarked. I shook my head.

"Carlisle tried to talk to him. It's like he doesn't want the help and the talks."  
"I don't blame him. Oh well, let's just leave him to his thoughts shall we? I don't think he'll be eating tonight."  
"I don't think so either."  
"What about you, are you hungry? I can't make much. But, I have lunch meats for sandwiches in the fridge and I have some fish fry."  
"Sure Charlie. Whatever you want to eat, I'll have some of, as well."  
"All right. Thanks for coming over, Alice. It really does mean a lot to me."  
"It's not a problem, Charlie."  
"Did your dad call Renee, by some chance?"  
"I think Carlisle did say something about it."  
"Okay."

Neither Charlie nor Edward spoke for the rest of the day, though Charlie and I did sit and watch a baseball game together. Charlie downed a few beers. I had one just for the sake of having one. Charlie offered one to Edward, but, Edward hadn't moved a muscle since I had sat him down on the couch where he was now. I shook my head as I exchanged a look with Charlie. Charlie finally announced that he was going to bed. Neither Edward nor I stopped him.  
"Alice, if you want, you or Edward are more than welcome to sleep in her bedroom. If you don't want to sleep on the couch or on the recliner."  
"Thank you Charlie. But, I think we're okay down here."  
"All right, Alice. But, if you change your mind, it's there."  
"Okay. Good night, Charlie. We'll be here in the morning when you wake up."  
"Good night, Alice. Edward." Edward did not respond. He was still staring off into space. I stayed by Edward's side. As soon as Charlie closed his bedroom door, Edward broke down into his sobs again. I felt so bad for him. I didn't know what I could do to help. I just put my arms around him and hugged him to me. He put his face in my shoulder, as if he were ashamed of his reaction.

I fell asleep sometime later that night, but I don't think Edward slept at all. I didn't think so, because I didn't hear his typical snores at all that night. The ones that usually woke me from my sleep whenever I was in the same room as him sleeping for any period of time.


	3. Chapter 3 Pregnant! EPOV

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of twilight**

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been reading this story so far. I loved reading your reviews. Keep reading and reviewing everyone and I hope you enjoy what I have written here. If not... well, no one said you had to keep reading if you didn't like it. Love you all for reading and reviewing. 

**EPOV**

I didn't remember anything else from the rest of the night. The last thing I remembered was Alice telling me that we had arrived at Charlie's house and that we needed to go inside. I had obeyed. That was the last thing I remember. I don't even know if I slept all night. I couldn't remember falling asleep or waking up, or any that had happened after I had gotten out of the car and walked up to door.

I snapped back into reality briefly sometime in the morning, when someone knocked on the door. I found myself sitting in Charlie's living room, on his couch. Alice got up to answer the door. I listened to the conversation she had with whoever was at the door, but acted as though I could not hear them, or as if I hadn't even noticed the knock on the door.  
"Alice? Is Charlie here?" came a woman's voice at the door. She sounded confused.  
"Renee. Hello. Charlie's still asleep. I expect he should be waking up fairly soon. Why don't you come in."  
"Thank you, Alice. Is that Edward?"  
"Yes."  
"How is he? I know how attached those two had _had _been together since they were seventeen after all."  
"He's not doing so good. He's been zoning out a lot. Becoming unresponsive and as still as a rock." Alice told her. Renee came over to sit next to me on the couch.  
"Edward? Can you hear me?" she asked me. I decided it was time for me to give up on the act. I nodded once. She pulled me into one of the most motherly hugs I have ever received, and whispered in my ear. I had heard it all in her mind just a moment before, but she didn't know that, so I let her whisper and repeat the words to me. "Edward, listen to me. It's going to be okay. I promise you. It may not seem like it now, but it will get better. It's just going to take some time. What happened was not your fault, so don't beat yourself up about it, okay?" I didn't answer her. I fought the tears that wanted to run anew from my eyes. She patted my back and pulled away from me.  
"Edward, are you okay?" Alice asked me. I shook my head. "Do you want me to take you home before Charlie wakes up?" I shrugged. She walked over to me and held out a hand. "Come on, let's get you home." I let her pull me into a standing position and out to the car. She drove me quickly to the house and dropped me off. I did not go inside.

After Alice pulled out of the driveway, I sat down on the white porch stairs that led to the door of my house, and waited for someone to find me there. I couldn't take the pain much longer. It was eating me alive.

The door opened behind me a little while later, and Jasper emerged. He closed the door behind him and sat down next to me.  
"Edward?"  
"Just make it go away, Jazz. Please." A feeling of relief and happiness washed over me. It didn't do much to relieve the feeling of hurt and sadness, but it was a good enough try. At least he was doing his best to try to help me. I was greatful to him for that. He looked at me. I smiled a little.  
"Thanks for trying, Jasper. That's all I can ask for. Is anyone here?"  
"No. Carlisle went to work and then everyone else went out. I don't know where. They said someone should stay behind incase you came home and needed someone to talk to or something, so I said I would do it."  
"Thanks." Jasper nodded. My phone rang. I looked at the ID. Carlisle.

"Hello?"  
"Edward?"  
"Yeah."  
"Edward, she was pregnant." I hung up.  
"What is it, Edward?" Jasper asked as I stood up. I had to get to the hospital to see Carlisle.

"I'll tell you later. I gotta go. Unless you want to come with me?"  
"Yeah. Let's go. Were are we going?"  
"To see Carlisle."  
"Okay."

The two of us grabbed one of the many cars in the garage and went to the hospital as quickly as we could. We parked in the lot and went inside, to Carlisle's office. He was sitting in his chair behind his desk looking out the window.  
"Pregnant?" I asked him. He turned to look at me.  
"Yes, Edward. Pregnant. Not very far along. I doubt she even knew. I'd say she was only 2 month pregnant."  
"And the father?"  
"You, Edward."  
"You had-?" Jasper asked.  
"Yes. Actually, it was about a month and a half ago. I didn't think this could have happened. That she could get pregnant, I mean. We were safe. But, I was going to ask her to marry me."  
"Oh my god."  
"This keeps getting worse and worse, doesn't it?" Edward asked.  
"Seems that way, doesn't it?"  
"How about we not tell Charlie and Renee about this part, okay?"  
"All right."  
"How did you find out?"  
"It came back with the autopsy results."  
"They came back already?"  
"Of course, Edward. It wasn't that hard to persuade them to make Bella top priority."  
"Of course. "  
"Were you planning on telling us, Edward?"  
"No. Not really."  
"Okay. I understand wanting to keep that private. Between yourselves."  
"Do you know what happened to her?"  
"We have a theory."  
"Well?"  
"We believe she may have merely passed out, causing the truck to swerve and flip until it came to rest around a tree. Of course, since there were no witnesses, we cannot say for sure, but that is the best theory we could come up with." I couldn't speak anymore. I simply nodded and turned my back on the two of them. _*Edward? Do you want me to help get your emotions under control?*_ "You could try, Jazz, I don't know if it's going to work though." He tried but nothing worked. _*Edward, son. Look at me.*_ I turned around unwillingly. _*Son, if you want, make it through a few more days of pain, and then I can give you something to make you sleep for a while. An easy escape for a little while from all the pain. But, not a permanent solution.*_ I nodded. I wanted that very much. I was going to open my mouth to ask something that had just occurred to me, but he beat me to it. _*Wait until after the funeral, son.*_ I nodded.

My cell phone rang. Would it ever stop? I rolled my eyes before answering it. I didn't recognise the number, otherwise, I could have just as easily ignored it.  
"Hello?"  
"Is this Edward Cullen?"  
"Yes. Who's this?"  
"This is Billy Black. I heard what happened. I need to call you to get special permission to come onto your territory for the funeral. Charlie wanted me there."  
"Talk to Carlisle. Hold on." I handed the phone to Carlisle.  
"This is Carlisle speaking.... Yes. I suppose that would be all right. No need to be fighting under these circumstances... Yes. Okay. Thank you for calling and asking.... Yes. I'll give Edward back." he handed me my phone back.  
"How did you get my number?" I asked. I was being rude but I didn't care. Did people really expect me to be polite and pleasant in this sort of state?  
"I called Charlie and asked for it. He looked it up and gave it to me." But it wasn't Billy Black's voice that I heard anymore. It was Jacob's. I didn't know what to do.  
"Oh."  
"Ba- Edward, I'm sorry about all this. But, there is something I need to tell you. But, you have to listen to me. It's important."  
"What?"  
"There was someone who saw the accident. One on our side."  
"Who is it?"  
"Leah."  
"Yes. I remember. Have her call Carlisle. He needs to know what to tell Charlie and Renee. And me. I don't want to hear it for myself."  
"Okay a-Edward. I will." I gave him Carlisle's cell phone number.  
"Bye Edward. See you in a few days."  
"Bye scum- um- Jacob."

Twenty minutes later, Carlisle's cell phone rang. I tuned him out. I didn't need to hear this conversation; through the phone, or through his thoughts. I didn't want to know. I wasn't ready to know yet. While Carlisle was on the phone, Alice walked through the door. She wasn't alone. With her were Esme, Emmett and Rosalie. I tried not to roll my eyes, or fall to pieces.  
"Charlie and Renee needed to have a conversation and I didn't feel I needed to be there for it. I went back to the house and everyone was there except for the two of you and Carlisle of course. So we came here." I sat down in one of the spare chairs in Carlisle's office.


	4. Chapter 4 Poor Edward EsPOV

**Disclaimer: SM owns all.**

**A/N: Hope everyone is enjoying this all so far. Here's chapter 4. Please review and let me know how you're enjoying it.**

**EsPOV**

We went into the office, but Carlisle was talking to someone on his cell phone. It sounded like something professional. I looked at Edward and Jasper silently asking who was on the phone. Edward looked as if he were tuning everything out. Alice had spoken to him but he didn't reply. He just sat down in one of the spare chairs and stared at the floor.  
"Jasper, who's on the phone?"  
"One of the people from down at La Push." Ah. That explained the professional tone he was using. Stupid rivalry. Stupid treaty. If you asked me, everyone could get along just fine if they would just simply try. Just because Carlisle's great-great grandfather, and Billy Black's great grandfather had fought and made the treaty, separating boundaries on which each member of either party were to remain, didn't mean that things had to remain like this, so many years after the two old men had died, and were probably rotting in the fiery pits of hell, not that I would ever say that in front of Carlisle. Those thoughts stayed strictly in my mind. Of course, the only other person who know these thoughts were Edward. I walked over and placed my hands on Edward's shoulders. He was taking this really hard. Harder than all of us. And, he had good reason to. It wasn't easy to lose the one you loved. Ever. He was shaking slightly. I wished desperately that there was some way I could make him feel better about it. But, I knew there wasn't.

Carlisle hung up his cell phone and spoke.  
"I'm sorry about that. So, Edward, where were we?"  
"We had just agreed not to tell Charlie and Renee about it." Edward replied, breaking out of his zone a little bit, but not enough to realize that any of the rest of us were there and watching him.  
"About what?" I asked, looking between my husband and adopted son. I walked over to Carlisle and Alice walked over to Edward. She put her arms around his neck, from behind him, in a very comforting manner. Those two had always been the closest with each other, of all my adopted children. I studied Edward from where I now stood. He was trying desperately not to fall to pieces. Everyone had gone about their own conversations, knowing it would be somewhat out of their limit to listen in. They knew it wasn't their business unless Edward decided to share the information with them. Alice was trying to coax Edward into telling her what was wrong again.  
"She was pregnant, Alice." he said quietly. Everyone fell silent and stared at him, except for Jasper and Carlisle. This must have been what they were discussing before Carlisle was on the phone. Alice hid her shock well and spoke with a level voice.  
"Come on, Edward. Let's go out into the hall and talk. You need to get this off your chest before you do something stupid when you aren't thinking properly." She helped him stand and they went out into the hallway where the rest of us could not hear them. I was really proud of Alice. She had always been able to handle things so well. It was a great quality she had. She had learned to adopt that quality in herself after she had lived in a few bad foster homes.

Edward had been the first one that Carlisle and I had adopted, after finding that I could not bear children myself. We went to orphanages all over Washington state. We came back to Forks after about a year and decided we should try our luck at the Forks Orphanage one more time. That was when we found Edward. He was twelve and his parents had just been murdered when they were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Next came Emmett. We had adopted him a few months later. He was 14 when we found him. He is two years older than Edward. Emmett's mother had died when he was born and his father tried to raise him on his own. He couldn't keep up with all the bills and such after a while and had to send Emmett to a foster home. His father still visited him once in a while, but not nearly as much as he used to, and Emmett had grown to resent him for it.

Rosalie and Jasper came next, about a year later. They are twins. They are a year older than Edward, and also a year younger than Emmett. At the time we got them, they were 14. I had never learned their story. But, Carlisle and I had been grocery shopping one day and were just about to leave when we spotted the two. They were with a person from the Orphanage and Rose was asking why no one had adopted them yet, and didn't she think that they were lovable enough. I felt bad. Carlisle and I wanted to take her right then and there and give her a better home. The worker from the Orphanage said that we couldn't just adopt one, they came as a package. If we adopted one, we had to adopt the other. We agreed to it and a few months later, they were officially ours.

Alice was in a very similar position to Edward. I guess that's why they got along so well. The slight difference was that Alice's parents died two different ways over a long period of time. Alice's father had been involved in a small, not very well known war, and was killed on the battle field. Her mother died a few years later in a tornado. She's a few months younger than Edward.

But, that was many years ago. Now Edward and Alice were 21, Rose and Jasper were 22, and Emmett had just turned 23. I felt lucky that all my children were still living at home with me. They had never moved out or threatened it when they were angry or anything. Many kids their age by now were living on their own and attending college somewhere. But, my children had all wanted to try their hand at the working experience before they went off to college. They wanted to raise their own money to pay for their education. They were all so independent, but yet, at the same time, they couldn't bear to be away from the house for more than a few nights at a time. They became too homesick if they were gone any longer than three days.

I loved my children and it hurt me to see them in pain the way Edward was now. I felt helpless. I didn't know what I could do to make him feel better, and to make his pain go away. From what I had gathered, not even Jasper's special talent had had any effect on Edward, even when he'd asked for it. At that point, I became lost in my own thoughts and worries and wondered what they were talking about in the hall. I willed Edward to be 12 years old again and to be able to hold him in my arms and tell him that even with this major bump in the road, he could keep on going down that road and it would lead to recovery and a better life and more happiness. He would just need to give it time and not try to bottle everything up and hide it. It bothered me when he did that. He knew none of us were fooled and we could see right through his mask, but he did it anyway. None of us ever questioned him. When he was ready to talk about something, he would come to you. You couldn't force him into something like that.


	5. Chapter 5 Talking to Alice EPOV

**Disclaimer: SM owns all**

A/N: Again I must say thank you to everyone who has favorited/ reviewed/ etc. this story. I'm glad that so many people are liking it. Incase you hadn't noticed it yet, yes, Edward cries a lot throughout this story. I will calm down eventually, I promise. Some may say it may be sort of girly for a guy to cry a lot, but, I think it's a good release for him. So, deal with it. Thanks again everyone! Love you all!

**EPOV**

Alice helped me stand again, and she led me out into the hallway outside of Carlisle's office to talk to me. I sat down on the floor against the wall as soon as I was out of the office. She closed the door behind her and followed suit, sitting down right next to me. She knew how close I was to letting everything spill over and just letting go of everything, and she wanted to help me before it went from just sadness, and escalated to worse things like anger and hatred and all the other negative feelings that would surely be the cause of my distruction.  
"Edward..." she began. "I know how hard this is for you. For more than one reason. I can see it in your eyes. It hits too close to home. For both of us. I know. But, this is a completely different circumstance. She wasn't murdered. She had an accident. Things like that happen. And, you loved her. We all know that. We all know that this is extra hard for you because you just lost the one love you've ever had, and things aren't going to be the same anymore. I know. But, things will get easier. I wish you would listen to everyone and start believing us. I know you won't, but it really will get better. Just like it got easier over time after your parents. That doesn't mean you won't miss her as much, but it will become more bearable over time. You just have to let it heal for a while. Don't keep opening the wound and letting it bleed out. That's the worst thing that could happen."  
"Does Carlisle know what happened? He talked to Leah."  
"Yes. He knows. He's just waiting for the time when you are ready to hear it. He doesn't want to tell you if you aren't ready. I would tell you, but I didn't see it. I only saw him telling you something. I couldn't make it out, because he hasn't made a definite decision on telling you."  
"Okay." I nodded.  
"You're gonna be okay, Edward."  
"I hope so. But, I'm really glad that everyone is here for me like this."  
"That's what family is for, Edward." Alice told me. I started to believe her. But, only a little. There was still a big part of me that wanted to tune her out and not listen to a word she said, and not believe it. There was a part of me that wanted to believe that I would never recover from these wounds. But, the small part of me that knew she was right, believed her.  
"But, Edward?" she continued as if she hadn't paused.  
"Yes?"  
"That doesn't mean don't think about her, cause that would be bad. She wouldn't want that. And, she wouldn't want you to be always sad about her. She would want you to recover as fast as possible, and try to get on with life." I nodded. "Are you going to cry, Edward?" she had seen my eyes becoming red as I fought the emotion. I shook my head no, and pushed the tears away before they could spill over the edge. I stood up and we both went back into Carlisle's office. I sat back down into the seat I had occupied before and resumed staring at the ground, avoiding eye contact with anyone and everyone.

I wanted badly to go home and be alone for a while, but I knew that they probably wouldn't let me, for fear that I would try to do something harmful to myself while I was alone, and that when they found me, it would be too late. I had no intentions of doing that, however. I was hurting terribly, and I wished there was a way I could make this pain go away forever, but I had been with Carlisle in the ER too many times to see what it would do to my family if I were to try to take myself away from them like that._ 'But you would see your parents again. And Bella. Don't you want to see them all again?' _said a nagging voice in my head. I argued with it. No! I would not kill myself. Yes, I wanted desperately to be with my Bella again, and seeing my parents again after so many years would be wonderful, but, no. That was not the right way to go about it. Killing myself was just stupid and irresponsible. And it would not make the pain go away. Alice was staring at me, I could feel it. I stared at her with a look that plainly said, 'I'm not going to do anything, I promise,' because I knew she had seen my future, with all the arguing I was doing with myself. She nodded slightly, satisfied that I was set on staying alive. I really did want to go home and be alone for a while. All this pressure, and being stared at was starting to drive me a little insane. But, no one moved or said anything for a while. Because, they of course, could not hear my thoughts to know what I wanted.

After a while someone spoke, but, I didn't know who it had been. I was back in my own little world, staring at the floor again. I heard the person leave and then it was quiet again. I didn't care. I was happy in the world I was in. In this daydream, I had Bella back, she was my wife, and we were expecting children. Twins. A boy and a girl. Fraternal, like Jasper and Rose. I shook my head and left my happy place, for I was no longer happy there. I took a deep breath and let one small sob escape me. Then I kept silent, even though tears were now gently flowing from my eyes.

The person who had left before, came back now. It sounded like Emmett, now that I was back in reality. He shook a bag in my face and I realized he was offering me food. I shook my head. He didn't see the tears on my face. No one did. He patted my back gently and then went back over to sit next to Rosalie.

Finally Carlisle studied my shaking figure in the chair in front of him. '_Edward, son, are you crying?_' He thought the question out of respect to me, knowing that I wouldn't want it announced to the whole room. I nodded at the floor. He came over to me and pulled me gently to him. I put my face in his shoulder and my father hugged me. I let more sobs out as the news I had been fine with for the last three hours let itself become known to me and wanted to escape.

I don't know how long I cried for, but the whole time I did, Carlisle stayed where he was, and just let me release it all. Carlisle was a very patient man. Sometimes I wondered how he was able to be so patient with all of us. Caring for five growing teenagers who had all come from bad situations, had to have been really hard on him. But, I knew he did it because he cared. And, I knew that he would continue to care for us as his own, even though we were all grown now.

'_Edward, come on, let's get you home. Let you sleep for a while. I know I said wait until after the funeral, but you really need the rest and the break from the pain, so let's get you home and get you to sleep for a few hours. Okay?_' I nodded into his shoulder and then he let me go. I kept my eyes on the floor as I stood and followed Carlisle out of the office and out to the car in the parking lot. I climbed in the passengers seat and he drove us home.

When we got there, he grabbed his medical kit, that he always left at home just incase, and followed me up into my room. He injected something into me that would make me sleep.  
"Sleep, now, Edward. We'll all be here when you wake up. I love you son." All I could do is nod. The medicines were already starting to work so I lay down on my bed and fell asleep.


	6. Chapter 6 Always seems to happen CPOV

**Disclaimer: SM owns all.**

**A/N: Some of you have been reviewing my story which is great. I'm still working on much later chapters. Any ideas from anyone on what you'd like to see for much later chapters? So far I think I'm on chapter 13 or so. Any ideas would be wonderful and taken into great consideration. :D. Love you all! Here's chapter 6. Enjoy.**

**CPOV**

I called in to the hospital and told them that I had had to leave a little early because of a family emergency, and that I needed to take off a few days until the funeral of Bella Swan was over. They allowed me to do so and I went back to the papers I was looking over in my office.

My office was straight across the hall from Edward's room, and I left my door open so that I was able to watch him carefully, incase I needed to make any sudden movements to get to him. I put the paper back down with a sigh as I realized that my family had not come home yet. I pulled out my cell phone and called Esme.  
"Hello?" came her voice after two rings.  
"Hello, Esme. The five of you might as well come home. I'm not going back any time soon so it would be pointless for you all to stay there waiting for my return when it isn't going to happen."  
"All right, we'll be home in a little while. Thank you for calling."  
"I love you."  
"I love you, too. Good bye." I hung up and sighed again. This was slowly tearing my family apart and I hated to see this happening. Seeing my son fall apart in my arms back in my office like that had nearly broken my heart. That's why I had given in to the promise I had made him and shortened the original promise by a few days.

Two hours later, we all got a surprise at the house in the form of visitors. And, when I say surprise, I mean that not even Alice had seen them popping in for this little visit. It was the Denali clan. I invited them warmly into our home, because, when I thought about it, I really didn't have any other choice, did I? Tanya looked around the room at my family, and realized who was missing. She spoke out loud.  
"But, where's Edward?" I wanted to kick her. If she hadn't have spoken up, maybe the rest of her family would not have noticed.  
"He's in his room. Asleep. Do not bother him. Let him be. He needs the rest."  
"Oh. Is he ill?" asked Zafrina.  
"No. He is suffering through a really difficult time right now, and needs his sleep. He does not wish to be bothered. Please do not press the issue any farther. I am sure that if he wants to share the information with you, he will do so himself."

The girls all went in the kitchen to begin making dinner, while us men stayed in the living room and watched the baseball game that Emmett had put on when he had gotten home. It was the 8th inning now. The game was almost over, and it looked like they might have to go into extra-innings. The game was becoming intense and none of us wanted to peel our eyes away from the television screen for one second, afraid we might miss something. The game was helping me keep my mind off of my sleeping son upstairs. In any case, the medicine I had given him in that injection wouldn't be wearing off for at least another hour, and who knew if he would just go back to sleep after that anyway. I knew I had to check on him, but I would do so around the same time that the medicine would be wearing off.

Before I became emersed in the game, however; I did think about Edward a lot. I thought about all the information I had learned from that Quilleute girl, Leah. She had witnessed the crash. I wondered when I would tell Edward, and how best to tell it to him. It wasn't exactly going to be easy to tell him that Leah had seen her arguing with someone over her cell phone, not paying attention to the road, and causing it to crash into a tree, twisting the truck and making it look almost unrecognizable to anyone. She had left from there to go back to the reservation to try to get someone up there to help her. In that time frame, we can only assume that Bella had gotten out of the truck and collapsed on the ground, because that's where all the blood was. It was on the pavement near her truck. That's when Angela had called the EMTs and Bella had been brought to the ER for me to care for in her final moments.

One of the nurses had told me later on that she had called me to the ER on purpose, after recognising Bella. She knew that since Bella was with my son and close to marriage with him, that I should be the one to try to save her life, because it would mean more to me if I were the one to do it, than it would to anyone else in the place. And, in some way, it did mean a lot to me that I had been the one that had been able to try my absolute hardest to save her life.

I just wish that I hadn't stepped out of the room with Edward when his phone had rang, because I might have been able to save her if I had been right there to take more action quicker. Yes, I was feeling guilty. Incredibly so. I felt terrible that I had not been able to save Bella's life, therefore, not only letting her die, but also the developing child inside of her. I felt terrible that I had made Edward go through all this pain and suffering because I was not able to save the one that he loved so dearly. It wasn't often that one found the person they wanted to be with for the rest of their lives on the first try. It was like those two had been made for each other. Soul mates. And now that chance was taken away and no one would ever know if that was what was meant to be.

I was thankful that Edward was sleeping and not able to hear my thoughts right now. It would have made him all the more upset. Jasper sensed the change in my mood as these things went through my head and sent me some waves of relief. I thanked him and went back to the game.

The chicken and buscuit dinner that the girls were making in the kitchen smelled amazing. I couldn't wait to try it. I was hungry from not having eaten all day. Maybe I should go in and see the progress that they were making on the dinner, and see how much longer it would be before it was done, so I could pass along the message to the rest of the guys sitting around me now.

And that was precisely what I did. I got up from the couch, tearing my eyes away from the game, and walked into the kitchen. I put my arms around my wife's waist.  
"Dinner smells amazing." I said in her ear. She smiled and wiped a bit of batter off her finger onto my nose. I laughed.  
"Thank you. But it's not quite done yet. Maybe in another fifteen minutes or so. When will Edward be waking up?"  
"Within the hour, I think. I should go and check on him. Where's Tanya?" Esme looked around.  
"Oh. I thought she was out with you all, watching the game."  
"No. She wasn't. I'm gonna go check on Edward." I walked out of the kitchen, wiped my nose, and went up the stairs. I was almost at the top of the stairs on the floor where Edward's room was when I heard him yell.


	7. Chapter 7 Oh no! Anything but this! EPOV

**Disclaimer: SM owns all.**

**A/N: Okay, so I just realized that I said in an earlier chapter that none of them were in school as I was typing this, but in this chapter, I say that they are in school. So, I am going to change it now and say that they are in Forks Community College and Alice and Edward are sophomores, Jasper and Rosalie are Juniors and Emmett is a senior. And they get away with a lot, so if they miss days, it's not a big deal and they can easily make it up. I mean, they **_**are**_** the Cullens's after all. So, yeah, just thought I would point that out, incase anyone else notices. Sorry about that. **

**EPOV**

"Tanya! Get out of my room!!!" I screamed as I woke up and opened my eyes to the annoyance that was Tanya. She was laying in my bed next to me as I slept, and was watching me intently. She jumped off the bed and stared at me when I screamed. But she did not leave. I glared at her.  
"You heard me! Out! Now!" she stared at me still. I sighed exasperatedly. Rescue came in the form of Carlisle at my door.  
"Tanya, you heard him. Please leave. He does not want you here. And, I thought I asked everyone to leave him alone, and that he was sleeping?" She did not speak, but left my room quickly. I thought I heard her stumble on her way down the stairs but I didn't care. At this moment, I was so angry with her, I hoped that she would fall and break every bone in her body. Yes, maybe that was harsh, but I didn't care. Carlisle came in and sat down on my bed.

"How did you sleep son?"  
"Very well. I did not dream at all. It was very peaceful."  
"I am glad to hear it. Dinner will be done in a few minutes. Would you like to join us?"  
"What did Esme make?"  
"Chicken and biscuits."  
"Oh. Yum. But, I don't know, Carlisle. I don't want that foul woman anywhere near me. Tanya, I mean, not Esme." Carlisle laughed softly.  
"Of course. We can make that possible. I cannot, however; kick her out. The whole clan is here for a surprise visit from Denali, and I cannot ask her to leave, because the rest of the family will go with her."  
"I suppose I'll come to dinner. But, please keep her away from me. And then I am going to come right back up here and try to sleep more. It was nice to sleep."  
"I know, son. Come downstairs with me. Dinner is almost done. We'll set the table for the girls and then we can all eat. Then you can come back up here and sleep more, if you wish."  
"I do. Thank you, Carlisle."  
"Of course, Edward." I got out of bed and followed Carlisle downstairs and into the kitchen. I grabbed a few plates and napkins from their places in the cabinets in the kitchen and set them around the table. Carlisle put out the forks and knives, as well as cups so that people could get what they wanted to drink. Although I had the option to choose otherwise, I would be having a soda. I did not need to over-do myself here and end up doing stuff I would regret because I chose to drink. Therefore, I would be drinking soda. I would probably be the only one, but I didn't care.

Finally dinner was done and I sat down on one end of the table, making sure that Tanya had no choice but the sit on the other end, far away from me. That made me slightly happy. I ate a little and kept my eyes on my plate, with my head on my fist. I could feel most peoples' eyes on me, but I didn't care. I didn't look up, for fear of meeting anyone eyes.  
"Edward, would you care for a beer?" asked Carlisle.  
"No. I don't trust myself to drink right now. Not even one."  
"All right son." I went back to eating my dinner in silence. Then I went back upstairs and went to bed.

In the morning, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Alice went to school as usual. I stayed home and, well, pretty much moped around all day. I wasn't me anymore. I had become a shell of my former self. I went about life like usual, but I wasn't really there at all. It was around noon when I found myself sitting at my piano staring at the keys. I didn't want to play. I never wanted to play again. But I had a tune in my head that I wanted to try out. My fingers began to move across the keys and play one of the most melancholy tunes I had ever produced. It told the sad story of a love most wonderful that came to an end with the death of one of the partners and the empty space in the one left behind. It told my story without me knowing it until now. It played on for a good ten minutes then came to a sad, abrupt stop. That was the end of the story. It told of uncertainties that were to come for the future and it told of fear for the unknowns. But mostly, it told of my thoughts for every minute of every day.

I decided that I couldn't take it any longer, and the things that were on my mind, the questions that burned inside of me, needed to get out. I went to find Carlisle. He was up in his study, across from my room. I walked in quietly and waited for him to finish the paper he was working on.  
"Edward, son? Was that you playing that tune downstairs?"  
"Yes."  
"I liked it in a strange way."  
"Thank you."  
"Well, what can I help you with? I'm sure you are here for a reason?"  
"Yes. I am. I had a question. Or, rather, I have something I need to know." _*You wanted to know what Leah said on the phone with me.*_ I nodded my head yes, and Carlisle sighed. _*Are you sure you're ready for this knowledge son? It's painful. It hurt me to listen to it. I just want to warn you before I tell you.*_  
"Yes. I want to know. I need to know." He replayed the conversation from the phone for me through his thoughts. I payed attention without making a sound. When it was done, I sighed and stood up.  
"Thank you, Carlisle. I needed to know." Carlisle simply nodded. I stepped back out of the office and went into my room where I put Debussy in my stereo and Clair de Lune filled the air around me with a soothing melody. My cell phone began to ring. I lowered the stereo slightly and then answered it.  
"Hello?"  
"Edward? You aren't in school, are you?"  
"No. I didn't go today. I won't be attending school the rest of this week."  
"Oh. I see. Well, I just wanted to call and thank both Alice and yourself for staying with Charlie the other night. It really meant a lot to him. Even if you didn't do anything. All he really needed was the company."  
"Yeah. Renee, may I call you that?"  
"Yes. Go ahead."  
"Renee, it was really no trouble at all. I kind of wanted to be there anyway. Just to be with someone that wasn't my family."  
"Yeah. Is that Clair de Lune in the background?"  
"Yes. I forgot that you listened to Debussy as well."  
"You knew that?"  
"Yes. It came up in a conversation once."  
"Oh. I see."  
"Yeah."  
"But, the reason I am calling Edward, is because I wanted to tell you...."  
"The dates for the funeral and the viewing." I said to her, knowing what she wanted to say, but was unable to.  
"Yes. We made the viewing tomorrow morning and also one in the afternoon. And the burial is scheduled for the day after."  
"Okay. Thank you so much for calling Renee."  
"Of course, Edward. So, I'll see you tomorrow then?"  
"Yes."  
"Okay. Good-bye Edward. Sleep well tonight and I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Good-bye Renee. You too. Thank you. See you tomorrow." And then the line was dead. I dialed Alice's number immediately.  
"I'm on it," she answered. "I just saw it. You are going to have Rose, Emmett, Jazz and I get work for the next two days because that's when the viewings and funeral are."  
"Um...Yeah. Can you get mine as well for the week Alice?"  
"Yes, of course. I'll come up to your room and see you as soon as I get home. It's going to be a rough two days."  
"Bye Alice."  
"Bye Edward." I hung up and lay down against my pillows, closing my eyes and letting Clair de Lune calm me. I left it on repeat.

"Edward, could you... oh. Carlisle. He's asleep. That Debussy always does this to him."  
"Oh well. Let him sleep. We can talk to him later. Alice will wake him up when she gets home in an hour from the store." Carlisle replied. And then I fell back into darkness as sleep overtook me again.


	8. Chapter 8 Family Meeting APOV

**Disclaimer: SM owns all. **

**A/N: I noticed this when I was going over the chapters trying to make some longer, the APOV chapters always seem to be some of the shortest. I'm not sure why that is. I'm sorry about that. I'll try to make the next one longer. I promise. Oh, and if all of these chapters seem really short while you are reading them, I'm sorry for that, because when I was typing them all on my wordpad, they were all between one to two pages long so, I didn't realize that they would look so short. This is one of the shortest chapters that I have. Well, anyway, I'm ranting now, so, let's get on with it.**

**APOV**

I came home from the store with Jazz after school. I ran up to my room really quick, to drop off my new purchased items, then went back downstairs. Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme were all waiting for me in the livingroom. Family conference. About Edward. I sat down with the others.

"So, how was Edward today?" Emmett asked. After all these years, it was still hard to picture him as the serious guy that he was trying to be now. He was usually the funny guy and, for him to take something seriously, it had to be severe. This was one of those occasions.  
"Miserable, of course. Should we have expected it any other way?" I said to him. Carlisle gave me a strange look. "I've been watching him all day. I was worried so I wanted to make sure that nothing happened to him." Carlisle nodded.  
"He-um- came up with a new composition today." said Esme. "One of his longest yet."  
"That's the last time you're going to hear him play for a while. He doesn't want to play anymore. The memories that come with it are just too painful for him. But we should really wrap this family meeting up. He's going to wake up in three minutes. Renee called him today. She told him the dates for the funeral. There are two viewings. One in the morning and one tomorrow afternoon. And then the burial service will be the day after tomorrow, in the morning."  
"Thank you for telling us that, Alice. He probably wouldn't have told us himself, would he?"  
"Probably not."  
"What did you go to the store for?" asked Rosalie.  
"To buy everyone clothes for tomorrow and the next day."  
"Will he be joining us for dinner?" asked Esme.  
"No. And, he won't eat anything for the next two days, no matter how hard anyone tries to convince him."  
"Okay. Thank you, Alice."  
"Sure thing. But, he's going to wake up in about a minute, so I'm going to go upstairs and talk with him for a while. Keep him company."  
"Yes. That would be a good idea. Shall we come up and get you for dinner?" asked Carlisle.  
"Just have Jasper text me or something."  
"Okay."

I went upstairs to the third floor where Edward's room was. I leaned against the door frame and watched as he stirred and awoke. He rolled over onto his other side without opening his eyes.

Finally he spoke, still not opening his eyes.  
"You know, Alice, you can come in. You don't have to stand there in my doorway watching me sleep." I smiled and sat on the bed with him and he sat up. Clair de Lune was still playing on his stereo, but he did not make a move to turn it down or off.  
"How did you sleep?" I asked quietly after a minute.  
"Okay."  
"Did you dream at all?"  
"Yes. Once. But then Esme came in and I woke up. I didn't dream again after that."  
"Well, I suppose that's a good thing."  
"I guess."  
"Esme said that you came up with a new composition today."  
"You didn't know?"  
"No. I must not have been watching when you decided to play."  
"Oh. Yeah. I did."  
"Would you like to play it for me? I'd love to hear it."  
"Not tonight. Maybe tomorrow."  
"All right, Edward. Take your time."  
"What time are we going down in the morning?"  
"At about nine."  
"Okay. Thanks Alice. And, did you-?"  
"Get you something to wear? Yes. I did. I went shopping right after school."  
"Thank you."  
"I'm gonna go eat dinner." I told him, as I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.  
"Okay."  
"If you don't want to leave your room, feel free to call me or text me or something and I'll come right in."  
"Thank you, Alice. I'll do that." I hugged my brother and then stood up and left.


	9. Chapter 9 You've got to be joking! EmPOV

**Disclaimer: SM owns all. **

**EmPOV**

We were in the middle of dinner when my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out while looking around me to make sure I wouldn't get in trouble. To my slight amusment, the five other members of my family that sat around me took their phones out as well. I looked down at my ID to see whom it was that had texted me.  
"Edward?" said six voices at the same time. I hit the 'read' button. There were was one simple word there. **Sorry.  
**"Edward!" said Carlisle, Jasper and I at the same time, realizing something wasn't right. We ran up the stairs and into his room. He wasn't there. I ran into his bathroom. At first I didn't see anything, but then I noticed that the tub was full and the water was close to going over the side of the tub.  
"Carlisle!" I yelled. I turned off the taps and pulled my half-unconscious brother out of the tub, clothes and all. I carried him back into the main part of his room. His body began to shiver.

"Maybe we should get him into something dry." I suggested. No one moved. The girls had arrived and were all standing frozen in the doorway. Carlisle and Jasper were staring at my brother's now fully unconscious body in my arms.

Five minutes later, I was laying him back onto his bed, in dry clothes. Alice was in tears, sobbing into Esme's shoulder.  
"Why didn't I see this? I should have seen it. We could have stopped it! Why didn't I see it?!" Carlisle was trying to calm her, without much success.  
"Alice, listen to me. He must have done it on impulse. That's why you didn't see it. Last second decision. It's not your fault. No one is to blame for this. He's going to be okay. We got to him. That's all that matters. He'll be fine." I studied Carlisle intently for a moment. His voice was level, and he was acting as calm as ever, as if nothing strange had just happened, but his eyes told a completely different story. They were wild with fear for almost having lost one of his sons. Rose and Jasper were hugging each other. Jazz was trying to keep Rose calm. He was telling her what Carlisle was trying to tell Alice. Edward would be okay. I turned back to Edward and pulled his blankets over him.

There was a few minutes of silence until someone finally spoke.  
"Alice? Can you see when he is going to wake up?" asked Carlisle.  
"Not until well after dark. Around midnight or one in the morning. But he won't come out of his room or anything, cause he'll feel really guilty about this. He'll be afraid we won't be able to forgive him." Alice replied. We all nodded quietly. Well this sucked. I wouldn't be able to see my little brother again until tomorrow. I wouldn't be able to talk to him and see what was going through his head and why he didn't just talk to one of us if things were getting that bad. But, I knew why he did it. The next two days were going to be the hardest of his life and he didn't want to face them without Bella, especially seeing as to how it was because of Bella that they would be the hardest days of his life.

None of us were hungry anymore. No one went back downstairs to clean up our plates or anything. We all just went to our respective rooms and thought about nothing but Edward. I sat down on my bed and stared at the wall behind Jasper's head.  
"Em?"  
"Yeah, Jazz?" I looked at him. He was sitting in a similar position to myself.  
"Thanks for finding him Em. I would have never thought to check in there. I never thought he would have been desperate enough to do that." Jasper said in a strangled voice.  
"None of us did, Jazz. And, as for checking in there, I just happened to notice the door open and thought I should check there. I didn't know he was in there. I almost left until I noticed that the water was running and about to pool over the side." I said. This was hard for me to talk about. I didn't feel as happy as I thought I should. I had just saved my brother's life. I should be elated. But, I wasn't. All I could think about was-  
"Emmett McCarty Cullen, don't even go feeling like that! He won't hate you. You saved his life. He'll be thankful that you found him in time. Don't ever feel that he would hate you for this. He might be pissed that he didn't do what he meant to do, but he won't be mad at you." Jasper had _never_ used my full name before. Wow. That certainly got my attention. I should stop being so ridiculous. Jasper was absolutely right. I knew he was.

I lay back again the bed and contemplated what Jasper had just said. My eyes drooped without my permission and I fell asleep, unaware that I was even tired. The stress must have started to get to me, and this was my body's way of coping with it all.

Before I fell into my slumber, I spoke once more.  
"Oh, and, Jazz?"  
"Yeah, Em?"  
"Don't ever use my full name again. I might have to beat you to a pulp if you do."  
"Okay. I won't. I didn't mean to in the first place. It was just the shock of it all, you know?"  
"Yeah."

A/N: ooooh. I'm a bitch. I'm sorry. haha. I wasn't planning on doing that to poor Edward, but, I did. And, it makes for more chapters later. Otherwise this story would have ended much sooner. There are only a few chapters left. 3 chapters and the epologue. Hope everyone is enjoying this story. Reviews would make me happy! =D.


	10. Chapter 10 I'm so worried APOV

**Disclaimer: SM owns all. **

**APOV**

I waited until Rosalie fell asleep, then snuck into Edward's room to wait for him to wake up. I wouldn't be able to sleep until I knew he would be okay. I was too worried about him. I knew in my head that, even though I didn't have a vision, I should have seen this coming anyway. I should have paid more attention to his behavior and his body language. Maybe then I would have seen it coming, with or without a vision. I would have been able to stop it from happening altogether. I looked at the clock as I lay down on the bed next to my brother. It was five minutes to midnight. Hopefully he would be waking up any minute.

It was only ten minutes later when he moved slightly and opened his eyes.  
"Alice?" he whispered.  
"Oh, Edward! Thank goodness you're awake. I've been so worried about you. I haven't been able to sleep."  
"How long was I out of it?"  
"A few hours. Edward! We were all so afraid that we had been too late. That you had-." I couldn't finish my sentence. I began to cry. Edward put his arms around me and whispered in my ear.  
"Alice. I'm so, so sorry. I was so stupid."  
"Why did you do it Edward?"  
"I don't know, Alice. I wasn't thinking. I just sort of did it. I just- it's just that- I don't know."  
"I'm just glad that you're okay. Please don't do that again. If things ever get that bad, come and talk to me, Edward. Talk to any of us. Don't take matters into your own hands. Please. We're your family. That's what we're here for. To help you. I don't know what I would do without you. You're more like a sibling to me than all of the others."  
"Alice. I'm so, so sorry. Will you ever be able to forgive me?"  
"Edward, of course! And, don't worry. So will everyone else. So, don't avoid them, okay?" The door opened and Carlisle stuck his head in the door.  
"Alice, what are you doing in here? You should be sleeping." Oops. I must have raised my voice so that Carlisle heard me from across the hall in his office.  
"I'm sorry, Carlisle, I couldn't sleep. I was worried sick. I wanted to be here when he woke up, just to make sure he was okay."  
"Alice." Carlisle sighed and entered the room, closing the door behind him. "I know you were worried. But, tomorrow is going to be a long day and you all need your sleep. We're all very glad that Edward is okay, and hope that he would never do that again. But, you know he's going to be okay, and you need to go to bed now."  
"Okay. Sorry Carlisle. I know, it sounds childish, but, I kind of wanted to sleep in here tonight. Rose wouldn't miss me. She's out cold."  
"I really don't care where you sleep, Alice. Just go to sleep. No more talking tonight. And, Edward, we need to have a serious talk tomorrow. Me, you, and the rest of the family." Edward made a face as if to protest, but Carlisle cut him off. "No. No private conversations. Trying to kill yourself is serious and it affects the whole family. You, of all people, should know that. All the times you've been in the ER with me. This will be a family discussion. No more arguing about it. Good night you two." Carlisle hadn't had to play the fatherly figure like this in a long time. Especially not since they had all turned from teenagers to adults.  
"Good night, Carlisle." Edward and I said at the same time. He left the room again. I looked at Edward and whispered to him.  
"Promise me you won't do it again."  
"I promise." Satisfied, I rolled over onto my other side and closed my eyes, falling asleep quickly. Edward rubbed soothing, reassuring circles on my back that helped me sleep. I really was glad that we were so close. He was my best friend.

I woke up at 7:30 the next morning. Edward was still asleep so I got off his bed quietly and snuck back to my room. I started to get ready for the day and I took out the bags of clothes that I had bought the day before with everyones clothes in it.

Rose woke up fifteen minutes later, and watched me for a minute.  
"Rose, go shower. Here's your outfit for today."  
"Thanks Alice." Rose got up groggily and went into our private bathroom to shower. She came back out, dressed in the outfit I had given to her. By 8:30, everyone was up and ready to go, except for Edward. Emmett went in and shook him awake, after careful instructions by Carlisle not to say anything about the day before. Edward grabbed the outfit from me and then disappeared. I saw it before I got the text. The text read: I want to go alone today. 'Okay.' I text him back.

Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett got into Carlisle's mercedes; Jasper, Rosalie and I got into Rose's BMW. We drove with Carlisle in the lead, and made our way down to the funeral home. We knew there weren't going to be very many people there, as Bella didn't have any living relatives, except for her parents. So, it was just going to be her parents and Phil, a few people from the Quileute tribe, and us. We weren't expecting to be the second ones there, however. We went inside and saw that only Renee, Phil and Charlie were here. After us came Billy and Jacob Black, Sam Uley, and the Clearwaters'.

It was another half an hour before Edward showed up. It was then that I realized what a mess he truly was. He hadn't shaved at all, his hair was all over the place and he looked like death. I instantly felt terrible for my brother, and realized what he must be going through.  
"Renee." I said to Bella's mother, who was standing next to me, talking to Esme. She had wanted to know when Edward arrived, so now that he was here, I could tell her.  
"Yes, Alice?"  
"Edward's here."  
"Oh, good. Thank you, Alice." Renee went off to meet Edward at the door. I watched with Esme as he tried to shake her off, unsuccessfully. I could hear their conversation.  
"Do you want to go and see her, Edward?"  
"No."  
"I can go with you, if you want."  
"No. Renee. I can't do it. I'm not ready."  
"Well, you're going to have to do it sometime today if you ever want to see her again, because this afternoon is the last opportunity that you'll have."  
"Yeah. I know, Renee. That's crossed my mind once or twice already, believe it or not. I just can't do it right now. Maybe later." I think she should have just left him alone. His head's not in a good place, and he will snap at anyone and everyone that tries to talk to him.  
"Okay. If you insist." Renee walked away and came back over to Esme.  
"Renee, he's just in a bad place right now, he just needs time. He can't be pushed into these things. He loved her, you know?" I said to her, to ensure that she would not try to push him to do something, again, that he did not want to do.  
"Yeah. I get it." I looked over at Edward. *_Edward, can I come and sit with you, or do you want to be left alone?*_ He looked up at me, and then patted the seat next to him. He wanted me to come over. I smiled slightly and walked over to him. I sat down next to him. *_You just want to sit here in silence?* _He nodded his head. I nodded too. I understood and I agreed with him. If I had lost the one I loved, I wouldn't want to talk to anyone either. I was still so worried about him.  
"Alice, can you think about something else please? Don't worry about me." Edward muttered quietly.  
"Sorry." I tried to direct my thoughts somewhere else.

A/N: Only two chapters left and the epologue. =(. But, the good news is I'm already working on a third story. It's only a page long, cause I just came up with the idea last night at like 12:30am. So, yeah. Once I get a few chapters of that done, I'll start thinking of names for it and then begin posting it. =D. Thanks to everyone who has read both of my stories and reviewed on them. I really appreciate it.


	11. Chapter 11 The Fight JPOV

**Disclaimer: SM owns all.**

A/N: One chapter left and the epologue. A third story is in the works. I'll be posting it in a few weeks. =D. Review!!!

**JPOV**

The room was filled with dispair to the point where I almost couldn't take it. Being an empath really sucked sometimes. But, the person I felt the most emotion coming off of was Edward. He had gotten here about twenty minutes ago and had barely said a word, from what I had noticed. He hadn't moved a muscle since he'd gotten here and sat down.

Ten minutes later, it was time to leave. I was glad to get out of there for a while and get a break from all the emotions. I climbed back into the BMW with Alice and Rose when we had left from the dreary building that was the funeral home. Carlisle, Esme and Emmett, got back into Carlisle's mercedes. Edward was the last to leave the building, even after Renee, Charlie and Phil. The Quileute people had all exited the building right after Alice and myself.

Edward got into the Volvo and we all left the funeral home at the same time. I think Carlisle made sure of that. It made me suddenly wary of what he was planning to do once we got back to the house. Whatever it was, I was sure it probably wouldn't end well. It would probably end with one of us extremely angry with the rest of them. Most likely it would be Edward.

Rose pulled into the garage next to Carlisle's car and we all climbed out. We went inside the house and into the living room. Carlisle and Esme were sitting on the couch. Carlisle was very calm, while Esme was sending off intense waves of nervousness from herself. I tried to calm her a little bit. She gave me a small smile in thanks.  
"Jasper, Emmett, Alice, Rose, sit down please. We need to have a family discussion when Edward gets here." said Carlisle. We all sat down immediately and sat in mostly silence until Edward got home, minutes later. He had been driving very slowly to stall getting here and had fallen behind us quickly. I didn't like where this was going. I looked around the room and noticed that Esme had that worried look back on her face. Emmett, Rosalie and Alice also looked worried for what was about to unfold here in this living room.  
"This isn't going to end well." Alice muttered under her breath, just before Edward walked in. I was sure she was blocking her mind from him because of the vision I knew she had just had. I had seen her gain the blank look in her eyes momentarily before regaining herself and waiting for Edward's arrival, like the rest of us.

Edward walked into the house then, saw us all gathered in the living room and tried to run up the stairs.  
"Emmett, Jasper?" asked Carlisle. I knew he wanted us to hold Edward down and force him to stay for this conversation. Emmett and I rose simultaneously and caught Edward before he reached the stairs. *_This is wrong. I'm sorry, Edward. This is wrong. Please forgive me, Edward. This is wrong.* _I kept thinking, as Emmett and I grabbed him and forced him into the last remaining chair in the living room. We had mostly dragged him back to the chair, because he had refused to use his feet to walk there. Alice was definitely right when she said this wasn't going to end well. I could see it already. I was not looking forward to this conversation. He gave us the nastiest look he could before we sat down on either side of him.  
"Edward," Esme began, "We know how you feel."  
"You have no idea how I feel!" he said.  
"Edward, I for one know exactly how you feel. I _am_ an empath, after all." I said to him.  
"You don't understand."  
"Then help us to." said Alice.  
"I can't live without her. I'd rather die than be without her." Edward told us.  
"Edward-- you can't--" I started, but he cut me off.  
"I can't-- live-- without her. You know what? Fuck this. I don't need to explain myself to ANY of you. I'm 21 years old. Don't reat me like a child!"  
"Edward, you tried to kill yourself. How else to do you expect us to treat you?" asked Carlisle.  
"Screw it. I'm leaving." Edward got up and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him and nearly busting it off the hinges, as he went.  
"Language Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!" Esme managed to yell, right before the door was slammed. I was sure Edward rolled his eyes and cussed again at that. I heard the volvo start in the garage and screech out of the driveway as fast as Edward could make it go.


	12. Chapter 12 Just leave me alone! EPOV

**Disclaimer: SM owns all.  
A/N: So, just the epologue left after this. How sad. But, I do have another story in the works... possibly two. This one is kind of slow going because I keep getting writer's block. Hopefully it will be up and ready for you to read by the end of the month....**

**EPOV**

I got up and left the house, feeling instantly remorseful for my outburst. But, I couldn't take them all treating my like I was five. Why didn't they understand?! I didn't want to be here anymore. I couldn't be here anymore. Not without Bella. I drove back down to the funeral home to wait for the second viewing to begin. I sat down in the same chair I had sat in before.

After about a half hour, I looked around and spotted the piano in the corner of the next room. The room that connected the room I was sitting in with the room that my Bella lay in, in her peaceful rest of the after life. If there was an after life. I wasn't so sure. In my opinion, or at least, the opinion I had gained over the past few days, the after life did not exist. In my opinion, if it existed, Carlisle would have been able to save Bella that day in the hospital. In my opinion, if it existed, I would have had my prayers answered about having my Bella back in my arms and safe and _alive. _

Why hadn't I seen the piano before? Oh yeah, that's right. I hadn't seen it because I hadn't been able to go and see Bella so I hadn't been near this room and hadn't seen it. I sat down at the piano, which was facing the coffin that held my Bella. She looked so peaceful. I don't know how long I watched her for, but the next thing I knew, my fingers began to move across the keys without my permission. I played a melody that was new to me.

I played for twenty minutes. The melody came to an end at the same time that I felt someone's hands on my shoulders. I dropped my head into my hands and let myself cry, as the tune played itself over and over again in my head and I heard the sadness and pain in it. I didn't look to see whom it was that was now rubbing my back as I cried. I didn't care who it was.

When I finally calmed down, nearly thirty more minutes later, I saw that everyone had arrived. Alice was seated next to me on the piano bench.  
"Edward? Would it pain you too much to play it again for everyone to hear? It was only me that heard it."  
"Yeah. I'll play it again. It'll hurt but the more I play the better I think I might get. No one minds me playing it?"  
"No. Not at all. I asked the funeral director if he minded you playing it and he said not at all. And everyone has seen you sitting here so they were curious." I nodded. Alice fell silent and my fingers began to play the tune I had memorized in one sitting, for everyone to hear. The low hum of voices around the two rooms dulled and stopped and everyone began gathering in the room where I was playing.

I played the twenty minute tune, and then chanced a look around the room quickly when I had finished. I had been mostly blocking the thoughts of every person for the last few days, except for earlier today when Jasper had had that desperate look on his face. The look that told me he was thinking something he wanted me to hear, while dragging me back to sit in the chair, with the help of Emmett. I tuned into his thoughts and then blocked everyone out again. I hadn't listened to anyone else since then. I didn't try to listen to anyone's thoughts now either. I used all my concentration on not crying again. I looked back at my hands as all eyes stayed on me. Someone came over and hugged me.  
"That was beautiful, Edward." came Renee's voice. I nodded once to acknowledge that I had heard her. Then another pair of arms were around me. Esme. She didn't speak, just held me to her.

She released me and I stood. To everyone's amazement, including Alice's because I was doing this spontaneously, I got up and went into the room where Bella was. I sat down in a chair right next to the coffin and looked at her. I didn't move again until it was time to go. Finally, Carlisle came over and placed a hand on my shoulder.  
"Edward, it's time to leave. Come on." I stood and followed Carlisle outside, after saying my final good-byes to my love. I got into the volvo and followed everyone home.

On they way there, my body shut itself down in a way. All my emotions had disappeared and all my thoughts went blank. I was just a shell now.

I arrived home and parked the volvo in the garage next to Rose's M3. I got out and walked into the house. Carlisle was in the living room. I looked at him for a moment. He noticed the blank stare in my eyes.  
"Edward? Are you alright, son?"  
"Fine, Dad." I almost never called him Dad.  
"What do you feel?"  
"Absolutely nothing." Carlisle was silent. But his brain was working on overtime. I half listened to what he was thinking. _He shut down. His body, and probably his mind. He's closed out the pain. That's not good. Maybe I should take him to a psycologist? I really don't know what to do. But, he can't go on like this. I'll try to talk to him later. _I tuned him out after that. He probably didn't know that I was listening, because I hadn't been listening to anyone in so long. I found that I really didn't care about what his thoughts contained. I didn't care about anything anymore.

The next day was the burial. I did not shed one tear that day. The shell I had become would not allow me to. I didn't do much that morning. I got up, threw on whatever clothes Alice handed me, and climbed into the volvo. I drove over to the funeral home for the final time. The only other person there when I arrived, was Charlie. I walked over to where he stood, in the next room saying his final good-byes to his daughter. He looked up at the sound of my approach.  
"Oh. Edward. You're here early."  
"Yes."  
"Would you like to say your final good-byes to her?"  
"Yes." I stood next to Bella and thought about what I would have said to her if she were standing next to me right now.

When I was done, I stood up and faced Charlie again.  
"Charlie, there's something I want to tell you." I had decided this suddenly. But, I thought he needed to know. Sooner rather than later. Alice had just been walking in with Rose, Emmett and Jasper. She gasped. She had seen that I was going to tell Charlie. I looked at her. She nodded. _Tell him. _I nodded at her thought.  
"What is it Edward?"  
"You know I loved your daughter very much, right?"  
"Yes."  
"And I was willing to do anything in the world for her as long as it made her happy?"  
"Yes."  
"I was going to ask her to marry me. I was in the hospital that day with Carlisle. I was telling him what I was planning to do and then I was going to come and see you to ask for her hand."  
"Edward!" He was suddenly very sympathetic toward me. I didn't need it. I didn't feel anything.  
"And, Carlisle found out something. From the tests. I think you need to know."  
"What's that?"  
"She was a month pregnant." He was speechless. He stared at me. But, he didn't look angry. He looked pained. I looked at Jasper, over Charlie's shoulder, and got confirmation on that emotion.  
"You would have made a great father, Edward."  
"Thank you, Charlie." Renee and Phil walked in just after this was announced.  
"Edward?" she asked me as soon as she saw me standing there with Charlie.  
"Renee?"  
"Would you like to help carry her? I wanted to ask Carlisle and yourself."  
"Thank you, Renee. I would like that. I'm sure Carlisle would as well."  
"Oh. Thank you, Edward." I only nodded.

Finally everyone was here and it all began. First was the ceremony in the funeral home. Charlie, Phil, Jacob, Billy, Carlisle and I carried her out of the home and into the hearse. Then we went over to the church. We carried her into the church and went through the whole ceremony there. Then it was time for the final stage. The burial. We all drove down to the cemetary where she was to be buried. Carlisle, Charlie, Phil, Jacob, Billy and I carried her to the grave and placed her in the platform which would later lower her into the ground. I zoned out and didn't hear another word of the final ceremony.

The next thing I knew, Alice had her arm around my shoulders and was guiding me into the back of Carlisle's mercedes. She drove the volvo home herself.

I remembered arriving back home and being guided into the house by some unknown person and then sitting down on the couch.

I didn't remember anything else from the rest of that day. I didn't snap out of it until 5pm. But, I didn't know that it was 5pm the next day.

I was as normal as I could be from that day forward, though I never moved on. I never found another person to love as I had love Bella. I was alone. But, I didn't want to find someone else. I was happy the way things were. If I couldn't have Bella, then I wouldn't have anyone.


	13. Chapter 13 Epologue

**A/N: If you don't like stories with IMs, stop reading now. Otherwise, deal with it, this has an IM conversation. So yeah. Here's the epologue. Hope you like it. I'll have my third story up hopefully by the end of the month. Reviews?**

**EPOLOGUE!**

EPOV:

I woke up in a cold sweat. It has been over 3 months and I'm still having the same nightmare as if it happened yesterday. I looked at the clock. 5:30am. I couldn't go back to sleep. I got out of bed, showered and went back into my room. I opened up my laptop and turned it on. I went online and signed in on my AIM.

emmybear69 has signed on.

emmybear69: You have a nightmare again, Edward?

bronzehairedbeauty: yeah.

emmybear69: I'm sorry man. How are you doing?

bronzehairedbeauty: the usual Em. But, I just realized that I am going to have to change my SN.

emmybear69: No. Don't change it Edward. Leave it as something to remember her by. You can't

block out everything about her.

bronzehairedbeauty: It still hurts Emmett.

emmybear69: I know. It will. Why don't you try to go back to sleep. We have class in a few hours. You don't want to be tired.

bronzehairedbeauty: I can't. We'll have to get up in an hour anyway. And what's the point?

emmybear69: yeah. You're right. I'm gonna go get ready. I'll see you in a while Edward.

bronzehairedbeauty: yeah. okay.

EMMYBEAR69 WENT AWAY

has signed on.

bronzehairedbeauty: Hey Carlisle.

: I heard you screaming.

bronzehairedheauty: I had a nightmare again.

momoffive has signed on.

: the same one?

bronzehairedbeauty: yes. Of course. It's been the same one for 3 months.

momoffive: things will get better Edward.

bronzehairedbeauty: I really hope you're right Esme.

: Was that Alice that just screamed?

fashionobsessedpixie has signed on.

fashionobsessedpixie: sorry, yes, that was me. I just had a nightmare.

bronzehairedbeauty: join the club Alice.

fashionobsessedpixie: I would ask, but I've already seen your answer. We both had the same

dream. From our point of views. You were screaming for a really long time Edward. That may have lead to my nightmare. And, I think everyone would be lying if they said they didn't have one as well. What else would we all be doing up at quarter to six in the morning?

: I did, actually.

momoffive: As did I.

bronzehairedbeauty: I gotta go. Alice, I'm driving the volvo by myself today. Have Rose drive the BMW.

APOV:

bronzehairedbeauty has signed off.

fashionobsessedpixie: oops. Shouldn't have brought that up I guess? Oh well. The damage is done. I'll keep an eye on him during classes today.

: If he gets to bad, send him home.

fashionobsessedpixie: all right. I will. I'm gonna go get ready now. Our morning classes start at 8:00.

: Bye Alice.

momoffive: Have a good day, Alice. We'll see you when you get home.

EPOV:

Alice nudged her elbow into my side for the third time that morning. I jumped awake. These nightmares really were taking a toll on me. I looked at the clock. Class was going to end in less than a minute.

As we were dismissed, Alice pulled me to the side.

"Edward, go home. Get some more sleep or something. You can't go through the whole day just falling asleep over and over again. We can't keep an eye on you all day. We have to concentrate on our work and assignments."

"No, I'm fine Alice. Listen, if I fall asleep in my next class, I'll leave. I promise. I have that class with Emmett, remember? He'll keep an eye on me. If I fall asleep, I'll go home."

"All right, Edward. See you later."

"Bye Alice." I walked to my next class and sat down next to Emmett.

"Hey Edward."

"Emmett."

Next thing I knew, Emmett had pushed my arm out from under my head, and my head went crashing down onto the desk in front of me. I jerked into a sitting position, shocked.

"How nice of you to join us, Mr. Cullen." said the Professor.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"Edward, man...." Emmett started.

"I'm going home after this class is over, Emmett. I made a promise with Alice that if I fell asleep again today I would leave. So, I have to. Because, she won't believe that I stayed awake for the rest of the day. She probably saw me sleeping."

"All right. Go."

Half an hour later, class was over and I walked out of the small, one-building community college. I got into my volvo and drove home. I heard Esme in the kitchen making lunch for Carlisle and herself. I went upstairs quietly and went into my room. I saw Carlisle's office door open and he was sitting at the desk, reading over an important paper for the hospital. He had a day off today. I lay down on my bed and, without removing my shoes, fell asleep. It was almost instantaneous.

CPOV:

I saw Edward lay down on his bed and close his eyes. I walked into his room and sat down on his bed.

"Edward?" He did not respond. I heard his deep, even breathing. He had fallen asleep already. He must have been exhausted. I shook my head and went back into my office.

Esme came up a few minutes later and announced that lunch was ready if I was hungry.

"All right. I'll be down in just a minute dear. Thank you."

"Has Edward been forced to come home yet?"

"Yeah. He's in his room. He fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow."

"Should we wake him up for lunch?"

"I'll see if he'd like to eat, but, he probably just wants to sleep."

"All right. I'll see you when you come downstairs."

"Yes. Thank you, Esme." I walked into Edward's room and shook him awake. He opened his eyes and squinted at me until his eyes adjusted to the light of the day. The sun was out today. We weren't really used to that here in dreary Forks.

"Carlisle?"

"Are you hungry?"

"Not really."

"Well, lunch is downstairs if you'd like. I think you should eat."

"Okay. I'll be down in a minute." I started to leave the room. Before I walked down the hall, I turned and looked back at Edward. His eyes were drooping again but he was sitting up, fighting the sleep.

I went downstairs and sat down at the table for lunch with Esme. We began eating. Edward joined us a minute later. He sat down quietly at the table and ate.

"Thank you for lunch, Esme. It was very good."

"You're very welcome Edward. How are you feeling?"

"Better. Still a little tired, but a lot better. That sleep did me good."

"No dreams?"

"No. None."

"Good." Edward smiled.

**Edward POV:**

It took another year, but finally the dreams stopped, and I was able to move on with life. I still never dated again. But, I was happy that way. Life was back to normal with my family and we were all as happy as ever. I still thought about Bella Swan on a regular basis, but it was tolerable. I could do it without causing myself pain. They were happy thoughts. And, that's how it was for the rest of my life. Happy.


End file.
